A Goose Avoids A Badger

Some of the animals had come together to celebrate an accomplishment with a cocktail party. Champagne was served in coupe glasses. A toad helped direct guests to the coat check. It was a swanky party, grand and opulent, but still felt tethered to reality and therefore approachable.

“Where is the guest of honor?” A badger asked of a goose.

“I have no idea,” the Goose replied. “Perhaps she took a wrong turn on the way to the banquet hall.”

The guests all mingled and had a good time. The bar was open and the hall had a pleasant outdoor garden. The passed apps were delicious. But still, the Goose could not figure out where the guest of honor was. You'd expect the guest of honor to be out on the floor mingling during their own celebration, but that was just not the case here.

After some time the badger ran into the goose again:

“Where is the guest of honor?” The Badger asked the Goose one more time.

“I assure you, Badger, if I hear anything about the guest I will let you know immediately.” The Goose replied.

The Goose was getting worried because she couldn't think of that many more ways of telling the Badger that she didn't know where the guest of honor was or when they would be showing up. Yet, the only way to avoid answering the question was to avoid the Badger altogether for the rest of the night. Now the party, for the Goose, had also become a game of hide from the Badger.

At one point the Goose was enjoying some light-hearted conversation with her friend, an Owl. The two were standing right next to a cheese and crackers station, enjoying the spread when over Owl's shoulder the Goose could see the Badger approaching them. Before the Badger could reach, the Goose sprung into action:

“Owl, do you know where the guest of honor is?”

“No Goose, I don’t think they have arrived just yet.”

“Well in that case, would you mind joining me in a move from this spot, I’m in the eye line of a Badger who keeps asking me if the guest of honor has arrived, it’s awkward to keep having that conversation.”

The Owl looked longingly at the cheese and crackers station that he would have to abandon to continue his chat with the Goose. Despite a brief though intense internal debate, the Owl chose to leave with the Goose. The two made themselves disappear into the crowd just before the Badger could get to them.

“We’re on the run now, Owl.”

“I suppose we are. What I miss most about my life before being on the run were those crackers and that cheese.” The Owl responded.

The Goose and the Owl were on high alert all night keeping an eye out for the Badger. Before they would even start a new conversation with anyone they would ask, “Have any of you seen the Badger recently?” Or "Hey, the Badger hasn't been around here has he?" Or other things like that.

Before long, word got around the party that the Goose and the Owl would not stop asking people if they had seen the Badger. Eventually, everyone was avoiding the Goose and the Owl for the very reason the two were avoiding the Badger.

“We’ve become what we despised...” The Goose lamented.

“We? We! I have no problem with the Badger! I was simply taken away from the crackers and the cheese and have been on the lam ever since.”

“What a relief it is to hear that.” The Badger had snuck up behind the Goose and the Owl, eavesdropping on their conversation. “I was worried that you were avoiding me because you disliked me.”

The Goose was stunned and embarrassed. She was just trying to avoid answering the Badger's nagging question about the guest of honor. She had inadvertently made him feel bad, which ultimately made her feel bad. What a bummer all around.

“Sorry Badger, it wasn’t personal at all, I just didn’t know how to answer your question about the guest of honor since I hadn’t seen them.”

The Badger looked confused, “My question... Oh! You mean, this question?” The Badger looked at the Owl and said, “Hey Owl, where’s the guest of honor?”

The Owl looked around but couldn’t seem to find anyone, “Hmmm, I’m not sure...”

“Well, that's because I’m looking at him right now! Cheers to you my good man!” The two cheers-ed their drinks and laughed and smiled.

“Oh, how fun!” The Owl cooed, “We must all be guests of honor!”

“Precisely!” Said the Badger.

“Have you had the cheese and crackers?” The Owl asked the Badger.

“Not yet, shall we go?” The Badger replied.

“Most certainly.” The Owl responded before turning to the Goose, “You coming?”

“You two head over, I’ll catch up soon.”

The Goose smiled politely, she was relieved that she hadn’t hurt anyone’s feelings but ultimately she thinks she probably made the right decision to avoid the Badger and his bad jokes for the rest of the night.