Chasing After The Trash Collector

This wasn’t the first time the Kangaroo had waited until the last minute to take out his trash. He could hear the trash truck coming down the lane and knew that he had maybe 15 minutes tops before the truck would finish collecting trash from the other side of the street, turn around, and come collect the trash from his house.

The Kangaroo leaped out of bed and dashed around gathering little trash bags out of little trash cans and big trash bags out of big trash cans. He replaced the bags as needed and made sure that any loose trash laying around the house was accounted for as well. 

He ran with the bags threw them in the trash can and wheeled them down to the road just as the trash collector pulled up to his house. 

“Cutting it close again, I see!” The trash collector said to the Kangaroo.

“Still made it on time!”

The trash collector sucked his teeth. “Yeah, barely...” he said as he collected the Kangaroo’s trash and continued on down the road. 

The Kangaroo stood there, watching the trash truck drive off. The trash collectors flip response irked the Kangaroo for some reason. What did it matter to the trash collector whether he had just barely got the trash out on time or whether it had been sitting there for days?

Over the next week, the Kangaroo couldn’t help but keep on hearing the trash collector’s voice in his head... “Yeah, barely...” again and again and again. Like some sort of hype-man that didn’t have your best interests at heart. 

The next week, with the trash collector’s comment still in his head, the Kangaroo remembered to gather all his trash the night before it was to be collected and placed it on the street. He went to bed after watching a late basketball game, while planning out his meals for the week. 

The Kangaroo awoke early the next morning, instinctively, but remembered he had put out the trash the previous night. He looked out the window to see if maybe he could catch a glimpse of the trash collector seeing his trash out on the street at the right time just like everyone else’s. That'll show him. 

Then the Kangaroo thought he could even do one better, he could even come up with something clever to yell at the trash collector. Maybe as a counter-burn to the dismissive, “Yeah, barely...” that was so rudely hurled against himself last week. 

But what could he say?

“I’m on-time today, ya big asshole!” No, too harsh. Unnecessary really. 

“Nice of you to finally join us... ya big asshole!” What? No, stop. Why do you keep adding "ya big asshole" to the end of these? The Kangaroo thought to himself. 

The Kangaroo continued to think of potential insults that would avenge last weeks' slight when he realized the trash collector had not come yet. He wasn’t collecting the trash on the other side of the road when at this point of the morning he should have been at the end of the street, turning around, and making his way to the Kangaroo’s cans. He was late.

Oh... oh how sweet this will be. The idea quickly took shape. The Kangaroo grabbed a lawn chair and made his way to the bottom of his driveway. He set up the chair and just as he was about to sit down the trash collector appeared on the other side of the street. 

“Well lookie here, seems like someone had their trash out early today!” The trash collector yelled, “Good for you!”

“Yeah... and...” this was the Kangaroos big moment, wait, oh no, the Kangaroo got so caught up in the trash collector being late he forgot to actually come up with his insult, crap, what is he going to... 

“Well good seeing ya!” The trash collector yelled as he continued to pick up the trash on the opposite side of the street.

"Damn," thought the Kangaroo. He knew that conventionally, "good seeing ya" was the cue for a conversation to be over. Now, it might be awkward when the trash collector swings around and sees the Kangaroo still sitting outside... 

But, the Kangaroo couldn’t miss this opportunity. “Yeah, barely...” had been playing in his head all week. He had to say something.

The trash collector made it to the end of the street and turned around. The Kangaroo was thinking as fast as he could. The trash collector got closer. 

He pulled up in front of the Kangaroo. 

The Kangaroo opened his mouth, he started...

“Nice of you to finally show..."

KLINK-KLANK-SMASH-BANG-POP-KLANG

The Kangaroo was drowned out by the sound of his trash being emptied into the garbage truck. 

“What are you doing out here, anyway. Ain’t you tired? Go back to bed! See ya next week, pal!” The trash collector yelled at the Kangaroo as he drove off. 

The Kangaroo watched as the truck picked up trash and receded in the distance. He hadn’t avenged himself from last week, and he was tired, but he still couldn't get the sound of the truck driver saying... saying...

Saying...

Hold on.

Dang. 

"Man," The Kangaroo thought, "What did he say to me last week?"