How to Start a Podcast
Marcus was a beaver who had an idea for a podcast. The only problem was, he didn't have any way to record his own voice or the voices of any of his potential podcast guests. This was not usually a problem in the real world but in the podcast world, this was pretty much the biggest problem that you could have.
"Well, what do I do now?" Marcus thought out loud.
Usually, this wouldn't be a terrible thing to think or say out loud but Marcus was at work and his boss happened to be walking right behind him at the time.
"Well Marcus, you could get to work patching up the east portion of the dam if you don’t have anything else to do."
"No, dad..." Marcus said to the construction foreman who also happened to be his father.
"What I mean is, I have a podcast idea but I have no way to record mine or my guests' voices. I need to get my hands on some podcast equipment."
"Well that's all well and good Marcus, but we don't have time for..."
Marcus' dad stopped short of completing his sentence. He wanted his son to explore whatever he was passionate about. Marcus' father himself had an idea for a podcast just this morning but he knew he had to make ends-meat so he let his dream drift out of his mind as soon as it entered.
"Actually, you know what, if you can go find all the podcast equipment you need today, I'll let you have the afternoon off."
This was great news for Marcus. He thanked his boss and took off for the day to search for his treasure. His new life awaited him.
Marcus knew if he looked very hard he would likely be able to find some podcast equipment somewhere in the forest. Many of the other animals in the forest had started podcasts and then abandoned them somewhere around episode 15 for weekly podcasts and somewhere around episode 4 for monthly podcasts (Marcus assumed they had likely abandoned their podcast equipment as well). So there had to be plenty of easily accessible, spare equipment, floating around the forest. It was just a matter of finding it.
Marcus knew that his podcast had the exact right mix of informative, entertaining, and engaging content (plus jokes!) that could keep people glued to their devices, eagerly anticipating each episode. All he had to do was find the damn equipment.
"Hey kid!"
Marcus looked around to see if anyone was saying that to him.
"Psst... Kid! Over here"
Marcus was pretty sure the Psst was meant for him so he looked around and saw a raccoon wearing a trench coat lurking behind a tree. The raccoon was obviously calling for Marcus but he wasn't sure if he should be scared. Podcasting is full of scary people and shady characters and Marcus was embarking on his first foray into this world.
"I hear someone might be looking for some podcast equipment?" The raccoon whispered to Marcus.
"Yeah! Me! Do you know where I can get some!" Marcus said, a little too loudly.
"Keep your voice down, Premium Talker! Do you want me to help you or not?"
"Sorry," Marcus said, "What's a Premium Talker?"
"In the podcast world, a Premium Talker is someone who can talk without having to stop and read ads every 15-20 minutes."
"Oh right," Marcus replied, even though he didn't really have any idea what the Raccoon was talking about.
"Well, listen - I know a place where you can find some equipment if you need it but, it's going to be an adventure." The raccoon reached into the breast pocket of his trench coat, pulled out a piece of paper, and handed it to Marcus.
"Here kid, this is a map, it leads you directly to one of the greatest podcasting rigs ever assembled. You can record anything on that - True Crime, Interviews, Educational, Comedy, you name it and that rig will churn out some of the best podcast episodes you could ever imagine. It even..."
As the raccoon kept talking Marcus carefully unfolds the paper he's been handed. It was a treasure map. A real treasure map. Complete with an X marking the spot. Curiously, Marcus thought, the treasure wasn't all that far away from here. Maybe a 10-minute walk, if that.
"But beware, starting a podcast is a cruel mistress. First, you have the idea and the podcast seduces you. The podcast idea tells you it loves you so much, and you believe them so much that you think that all you need to do is follow the idea and live with the idea and explore the idea through the medium of podcasting and if you do that, the podcast will make all of your dreams come true. Then, when it finally seduces you enough and you give in and you throw your whole heart and soul behind the podcast, it leaves you. You're alone. In the woods. With nothing. You have no idea where the love of the podcast went or why it left you. The one thing you thought you had that loved you that made you feel great about yourself is gone. And you're left with just the yearning, the knowing, that damn, maybe me and this podcast could have really been something but instead... If you're looking to start a new business or online store Squarespace can help you with a website that makes your dreams come true. Everything is optimized for mobile right out of the gate so there is no need to patch or upgrade..."
This must be the ad that the raccoon was referring to. Marcus resolved to keep his podcast ad-free so he would never have to resort to reading ad copy in the middle of a conversation and he could always be a Premium Talker. He decided to skip ahead 30 seconds in the conversation with the raccoon and set out to find the mythical Podcast rig.
Marcus began his journey. He walked around trees and climbed up a very small hill, then a very large hill and then a hill of medium difficulty. He swam across a river and then swam immediately back when he got to the other side and realized he was holding the map the wrong way and that he was actually on the right side of the river the whole time. He walked through clearing after clearing and even for a moment stopped reading the map and started following his instincts. This, of course, got Marcus even more lost, but he knew that he had to find the podcast equipment today. The podcast was calling, just as the Raccoon had said. It was Marcus' duty to get to the podcast equipment and unleash his passion project on the world. If not he would just be a regular beaver going to his regular job.
As he came to another clearing in the woods, Marcus was fed up with the journey that had already taken nearly 16 minutes of his day. Marcus was rethinking getting into the whole "podcast thing" at all. He thought that his podcast idea was cool and hip and most importantly, fun. But, what if Marcus turned out to be a lousy broadcaster? Or even worse, what if he turned out to be yet another podcaster who got into spirituality, or conspiracy theories, or astrology too much and alienated his audience?
Then, there it was. Marcus ran over to the beautiful rig. It was everything he had ever dreamed it would be. Except it was all open and not in original factory sealed boxes. But that didn't matter. Marcus had needed podcasting equipment and he found it. It was kismet, at his moment of highest self-doubt Marcus had finally found the very thing he needed to make his podcast dreams and his real-life dreams a reality.
Marcus walked over to the rig. He looked at everything closely. The microphones, the stands, the computer, the mixing board, the cans. Oh my gosh, the cans were beautiful. He felt very professional and powerful.
He sat down in what was now his seat. It was all up to him. Never had he felt more in control or more scared.
He put on his cans, tapped on the microphone, and said,
"Hey podcast listeners this is Marcus the beaver and welcome to, This Much Wood, an exploration of all things wood from the point of view of me, Marcus the beaver! Each week myself and a guest..."
He realized in this moment that he did not ask a guest to come sit with him to record his inaugural podcast nor did he bring anything to help him transport his equipment back home.
"Wow, there is so much to this whole podcasting thing that I never even knew... Maybe it's not for me..."
