Sorry I Brought It Up
A Hummingbird was humming a tune to herself as she went about her daily chores. The tune she was humming was the classic love ballad from the motion picture Titanic. You know the one.
Midday, the Hummingbird decided to stop at her favorite lunch spot for a bite to eat. She was still humming the Titanic tune to herself, it was a bit of an earworm.
“What a strange phrase,” the Hummingbird thought to herself, “Ear Worm, I wonder what the etymology of that is?”
Wouldn’t you know it, right at that moment, a worm entered the restaurant and took a seat right beside the Hummingbird. What luck!
“Excuse me,” the Hummingbird asked the Worm, “Do you happen to know the etymology of why a tune that gets stuck in your head is called…”
The Hummingbird immediately froze. It had just occurred to her that perhaps the phrase ‘ear worm’ was actually offensive to worms. Perhaps even a pejorative. The Hummingbird had stepped in it and now she was stuck. She was about to offend a worm because she had an innocent question about the etymology of a word.
“Were you saying something?” The Worm asked, annoyed that he was being kept from his lunch.
The Hummingbird chastised herself. Who even cares about where words come from? It’s not like etymology is important in day-to-day life. She was simply curious. But you know what they say, curiosity killed the Cat… Oh dear… was that… another phrase that could offend? If there was anyone you didn’t want mad at you it was the Cats. Sheesh a Hummingbird can’t make an innocent mistake here and there.
“Are you going to just leave me hanging or did you have a question?” The Worm asked, impatient, “Because if not, I’d like to enjoy my lunch.”
The Hummingbird didn’t know what to do, she certainly couldn’t ask her questions about the earworm… But she could…
“Actually,” the Hummingbird began, “Do you think the phrase ‘curiosity killed the cat’ is offensive to cats?”
“Probably only to the cat who died from curiosity.” The Worm replied, without thinking.
“Excuse me?” Suddenly a Cat appeared and sat down next to the Hummingbird and the worm, “Did I just overhear you two use an offensive phrase?”
The Hummingbird began sweating. This was her nightmare. She didn’t mean to say a slur, she was simply curious, now she had offended someone.
“What’s the matter?” The Cat asked…
“Yeah,” the Worm chimed in, “Cat got your tongue?”
The whole restaurant stopped on a dime. Had the worm really just said that? In front of a Cat?
“Oh wow that was a rude,” the Cat said to the Worm.
“Sorry, didn’t mean to be offensive,” the Worm replied.
“Nope, that’s not good enough,” the Cat responded, “Don’t try to worm your way out now...”
The whole lunch spot gasped again. This was spiraling out of hand. The Worm was offended. The Cat was offended. And the Hummingbird was upset that she ruined everyone’s lunch.
“I just came here to have lunch, not to participate in discourse!” The Worm yelled, “I apologize for using a slur and thanks for letting me know it is one so I won’t say it again in the future.”
“Apology accepted and ill offer one of my own for that rude quip a second ago.” The Cat replied. “Now what about you Hummingbird? You’re the cause of all this mess, anything to say?”
The Hummingbird was paralyzed. She didn’t want to cause anymore trouble but she didn’t know what to say to placate everyone and express how she felt.
“I’m just sorry I brought it up, usually I have lunch a little later in the day, where I am more awake and make fewer gaffs but you know how it goes. The early bird gets the worm”