The 200 Year Old Axe

An Owl had just come into possession of an axe that was used to chop firewood all the way back in the 18th century. It was a rare find at a local antique store, and at a very reasonable cost too. The store didn't know what they had on their hands but the Owl did and was more than happy to make a deal. 

Now one reason the axe might not have caught the eye of the antique dealer is that it looked quite awful. It had survived being on earth for over 200 years though, so that wasn't unexpected, but still, if the axe could be described in just one word it would be, yeeeeesh. 

The Owl had big plans to restore the axe back to its original, brilliant, splendor. He had recently seen a few clips online of amazing restorations of various old objects. The Owl appreciated the care it took to take objects that often many wouldn't deem worthy of anything and bring them back to their former glory. Plus, an added bonus was it didn't seem like it took very long at all to restore an old object, the videos he watched were typically all under a minute long. 

When the Owl began to work he first started by cleaning the axe with soap and water. To get off all the loose grime that had built up over the years. From the videos, the Owl knew this was the most important and most difficult part of the restoration task. Grime and dirt that had been built up for so long was thick and tough and really baked into the object. That's what 200 years could do to you. 

The Owl scrubbed and he scrubbed and he scrubbed. Then he took a break and wiped his brow. Then he scrubbed and he scrubbed and he scrubbed some more. Then he took a break and took a sip of water. Then he scrubbed and he scrubbed and he scrubbed again. 

"Whoo," said the Owl, "This scrubbing is taking much longer and is much harder than what the videos were showing! I think I need some lunch." 

So the Owl took a break and had some lunch. While eating, he watched a different video about restoring an old object. The object being restored in the video seemed to have the dirt dissolve away quickly like it wasn't even caked on at all. 

"See, it’s supposed to get done so quickly! There ain’t know way I’m supposed to be working this hard! Must be something wrong with my elbow grease that I can't seem to make this work?" The Owl wondered.

The Owl returned to his old axe and started the process of scrubbing and scrubbing and scrubbing again. He scrubbed harder than he had ever scrubbed anything in his life. He used tons of soap to try and break up the grime. He used tons of abrasives to try and break up the grime. He used tons of home remedies to try and break up the grime. 

"NOTHING IS WORKING!" The Owl exclaimed, "This Axe !@#*#!@ sucks!!!" 

The Owl raised the Axe above his head and in a flash of anger threw it onto the ground. A massive crack started forming from the bottom handle through all the dense caked dirt and grime all the way up to the very top of the blade. 

"No! No! What have I done?" The Owl panicked, "I messed up! I messed it all up!" 

The Owl gingerly picked up the axe to see how much damage he had actually done. He looked at the crack that had made its way up the axe. It looked, odd. The axe looked... calm? Like the axe itself wasn't really mad about having this crack in it at all. 

The Owl inspected a little closer and felt the crack with his wing. Nothing happened. He wedged his wing in the crack a little further. Still nothing, but now the Owl could feel the thick, strong wooden handle underneath all the layers of grime and time. The Owl used his wing to pry open the axe a bit and... 

Voila. 

Turns out the thick grime wasn't grime at all, it was a case. The Owl had managed to crack the case and inside was a pristine, beautifully crafted axe. Perhaps the most beautiful object the Owl had ever seen. 

A bright light began emitting from the axe blade and handle. Enveloping it in a bright, blue, brilliant glow. 

"Okay, what's this now?" The Owl wondered.

The light began glowing brighter and brighter and brighter. Eventually, a figure emerged out of light. The figure was an Owl but dressed like it came out of the 1800s 

"Are you Reginald?" The Owl enveloped in light asked in a booming ethereal voice. 

"No," The Owl, who was actually named Thomas, answered. 

"Wait, really?" The glowing Owl responded, confused, "Do you have any siblings named Reginald?"

"No... I don't know any Reginalds at all, unfortunately." Thomas replied. 

"You're kidding me," the glowing Owl replied, crestfallen, "Ugh, well, this is the 4th time this month, might as well return me to the store." 

The Owl began to suck all the emitted light back into him and he disappeared back into the axe and case from where he came. 

"Wait, hold on!" Thomas yelled, "What the heck just happened?" 

The glowing Owl sighed, "Well, I'm a guardian of the forest, I was locked away in this axe in the year 1828 by a wizard during the war of Owltopia. When the Owls turned on each other and brother fought against..." 

"Brother…” Thomas interrupted, “Yeah we learned about that in history class.”

"They have classes on history? That's a smart idea actually, learn what happened that way society never makes the same mistakes twice… Anyway,” the glowing Owl continued, “I was locked in here by a wizard who foretold that only Reginald could free me from my entrapment, and together the two of us would finally avenge our family name and end the war!" The glowing Owl explained. 

"Oh... that war ended like 190 years ago dude. That was the shortest Owl conflict in history. It only lasted a month. It's over now." 

The glowing Owl was speechless. Shocked: 

"You've got to be kidding me? Is that for real?"

"Yeah man, you've been in that axe for probably 199 years and 11 months." Thomas continued, "I mean, I don't think the Reginald you need is even still alive." 

"Wow, um, this is a lot to process right now," The glowing Owl conceded, "You're sure they're is no more war?" 

"Nope, not right now at least," Thomas replied, "So what do you want to do now? Do you want to go back into the axe or just like, I dunno, hang out? I'm not really doing anything today." 

"Do you still have pizza? I haven't had pizza in... well, you did the math," the glowing Owl offered, "I've been jonesing for a pepperoni slice" 

"Dude for sure! I know a great place right around the corner!" 

The glowing Owl smiled and got out of the axe. Still a little bit shocked, and a little unsure of what he was going to do with the rest of his life, now that his only purpose, his only goal had been rendered mute.

He wasn't sure what his new life was going to be, but, he knew two things for sure that never changed even if the times did. 1. During periods of high uncertainty in life, never forget that your future possibilities are endless, and 2. He was pretty stoked to go eat some pizza.