The Alligator Finally Understands Pictures
It’s not so much that the Alligator disliked having his picture taken, it’s just that when the Alligator is getting his picture taken it always makes him remember what he looks like.
It’s not even so much that the Alligator doesn’t like what he looks like, it’s just that when the Alligator is moving through life he doesn’t think about what he looks like. He thinks about other things, like what he’s doing or where he’s going, or what food he wished he was eating right now. So as you can see, when someone asks the Alligator to step in for a picture it can really throw him off whatever he was thinking about.
The Alligator knew though that he was the one who was weird about pictures. Most people liked getting their picture taken or, at a minimum, didn’t mind being interrupted from their existential experience for a moment. The Alligator just figured he would never understand why everyone was so willing to stop their real-time processing of life to stop and capture a moment that was already old news a second later.
One day during his thinking, the Alligator’s thoughts ventured again towards his aversion to taking pictures. On this day, the Alligator decided he wanted to figure out what all the fuss was about once and for all. The Alligator decided he would run some picture-taking experiments. After the experiments were over the Alligator would make one final determination and then, as a principle, would either never take another picture again or, never complain about taking another picture again. Either way, this was going to be a game-changer.
The Alligator got to work rigging together a makeshift tripod in his home. He stacked a bunch of books on top of a table that gave him enough height so that he could be in frame. He set his phone on an automatic timer. He stopped thinking about whatever he was thinking of just a second before. He posed. 3. 2. 1…
Done. Obviously, there was no flash or click. This is the 21st Century.
The Alligator made his way over to his phone. He looked at his picture. It was… Okay,
“Hmm, I think I’ll try another, this isn’t a great picture of me.” The Alligator said as he set himself up to take another picture.
3. 2. 1. Done.
The Alligator checked the picture again:
“This one is better, but I still think I’m not capturing my best angles. Let’s try again.”
3. 2. 1. Done.
The Alligator still wasn’t pleased with this picture.
“They don’t seem to be getting better. Let’s try one last time.”
3. 2. 1. Done.
The Alligator made his way to check his picture. When he looked at this picture he lit up:
“Ooo look at that one, that’s a good one, damn man you are a handsome Alligator. You should see try to get into modeling. Look at you buddy, wow! Doesn’t get better than that!”
The Alligator decided the experiment was over. He would continue to take pictures. After all, who was he to deprive the world of such a pretty face?
