The Beautiful Ball

The Raccoon and the Fox were out playing when they looked up and saw a ball stuck in a tree.

“Wow…” The Raccoon stared, in awe.

“I know,” replied the Fox, “It’s the most beautiful ball I have ever seen in my life too.”

The two friends knew they had to figure out a way to free this beautiful ball from the clutches of the tree that was holding her hostage.

“What do we do?” The Raccoon asked.

“We’re smart Ed,” The Fox replied, “We'll figure it out."

“Thanks, Merv,” Ed, The Raccoon said to the Fox, “For calling me smart.”

“Don’t mention it,” Merv replied.

Merv looked up at the ball trying to see if there was a plan to be devised that would free the ball from this ultimate prison. Unfortunately, there seemed to be no clear, direct, path to the ball so this was going to take some real thinking.

“No, I mean it,” Ed continued, “No one calls me smart except you, it’s like you see that I’m not just this bandit face idiot that people see when they look at me, I’m much more than that.”

Merv was half-listening to what Ed was saying, something-something bandit mask, yeah, yeah. Merv loved Ed and didn’t want to be rude but they both had a beautiful ball stuck in a tree that needed to be freed. So, no offense, but come on Ed get your head in the game here!

“It’s because I dropped out of college, that’s why people think I'm not smart” Ed continued, “But I just knew the job market wasn’t sustaining the type of salary that would be needed to pay off my loans so I cut and run early, which is actually smarter than anyone who finished college. But there will always be the stigma” 

Merv was losing patience with Ed. Ed hadn’t mentioned the ball since the second he noticed it. Ever since then he’s just been distracted and rambling about who knows what. It’s like he was too dumb to concentrate which and you might not know this, but Ed dropped out of college, and being too dumb to concentrate was actually the predominant rumor of why he had to drop out in the first place.

“So again when you said…” Ed continued...

“No! Enough Ed! We have to get that beautiful ball down! Stop talking unless you have an IDEA on how to get the ball down,” Merv snapped.

Ed was taken aback, “Wow…” he said.

“I’m sorry, Ed,” Merv apologized, “I regretted what I was saying almost as fast as I was saying it.”

“It was some pretty hurtful stuff,” Ed agreed. “So, do you think I’m smart or not?”

"Ed, I'm only thinking about the ball right now, do you have any idea how we're going to get it?" Merv responded quickly.

Ed licked a finger and felt the direction and speed of the air. The air began to pick up and swirl, gusting and gusting, rustling the trees and swinging the branches and… and…

“Oh my god, something is happening!” Merv yelled.

Merv looked up as the wind began wildly whipping the branches of the tree all around. This way, that way, every which way that the branch could be whipped it was whipping, and sometime in the middle of one of these big whips the beautiful ball dislodged from the branches and came falling to earth, landing right at Merv’s feet.

“It’s even more beautiful in person” Merv gushed.

“It’s so beautiful it has expanded my conception of what beauty can even be.” Ed concurred.

“Jesus Christ,” Merv said, surprised, “Uh, well said, Ed.”

“Thanks.”

The two continued to stare at the ball for a bit. They decided they would go to the greenest field they could find and play there. This beautiful ball deserved only the best.

As they were walking off Merv had a final question for Ed…

“Say, what was going to be your idea to get the ball down?”

Ed stopped and looked at the now quiet wind rustling through the treetops.

“Well…” Ed watched as the wind slowly died down, “You’re never going to believe me now…”