100

The Bear was determined to count to 100. He had been trying to count to 100 all day and he kept being rudely interrupted by this or that or the other thing, losing his place, then starting all over again. Today was really trying the Bear's patience. 

77… 78… 79...

Boris couldn’t remember the last time he counted to 100 which is why he decided today was a good day to check the task off the list. He’d be sure to make note of the date of completion as well so the next time anyone ever asked when the last time Boris counted to 100 was, he would be prepared. 

80… 81…

“Hey, Boris!” The Bear heard his name being called from behind him. 

82… 83…

The Bear was so close, he just needed to finish 17 more numbers and then his task for the day would be done. He couldn’t let whoever this was yelling his name distract him. 

84... 85...

“Boris! Can you hear me, Boris!” Came the call once again, “You must be able to hear me, Boris, I’m the loudest Cardinal this side of the Forrest, ain’t that right Boris!”

Boris of course knew the Cardinal calling his name was his friend Theodore. They had been friends a long time and Boris could indeed confirm that Theodore was the loudest Cardinal this side of the Forrest. Boris always added the phrase ‘on this side of the Forrest’ to the superlative only because Boris had never actually been to the other side of the forest so he felt silly making a definitive judgment of who the loudest Cardinal was that went beyond the places he himself had visited. 

86… 87…

“BORIS!" Theodore continued, "Boris, you answer me now! I ain’t come all this way to yell your name and you ignore me!” 

88... 89...

Boris continued to count to 100. He didn’t want to speed up his count because that felt like cheating. He had a slow steady count up till this point and by Joe, he wasn't going to allow his loud friend Theodore to mess that up. 

90... 91... 

Home stretch--

"Boris, have you done lost your hearing or something?" Theodore yelled, "If you don't answer me right now I'm going to just help myself to this pie that is sitting on your windowsill!"

92... Ninety... Three...

Boris was not ready to slice that pie. Dang it Theodore! That pie needs to cool! If you cut it too soon it won't cool properly and then you'll be left with a molten mess of fruit swimming in hot sugar which will flood all over the place and then the whole pie will collapse. Theodore better stay away from the pie though Boris. 

94... 95...

"Oh, what kind of pie is this Boris? Since you can't hear me, I'm going to assume it's blueberry." Theodore taunted. 

It wasn't it was mixed berry. 

96... 97... 

So close, if Theodore could just wait for two more seconds it would be over 

98...

"Ooooooooo look at this big knife!" Theodore boasted, "This is a pie slicing knife if I ever seen one!" 

99... 

"Here I go..." 

100.

Boris did it. He turned around quickly and yelled at Theodore: 

"Dang it Theodore don't you dare touch that pie!" 

Boris looked at Theodore who was sitting in a tree branch nowhere near the pie. He was goofing Boris this whole time. Boris looked at Theodore: 

"What the heck man? Couldn't you see that I was trying to count to 100? Why were you trying to mess me up?" Boris yelled, exasperated. 

"I just wanted some pie honestly, I smelled it all the way from the other side of the forest." Theodore explained, "You really just counted to 100?"

"Yes," Boris replied. 

"Wow," Theodore pondered, "Couldn't tell you the last time I counted to 100." 

"Well, I could tell you the last time I did it," Boris replied, pleased. 

"Calls for a celebration in my book," Theodore exclaimed then added, "How about some pie?"

"Sure, let's eat some pie" 

So they did. 

And... It was definitely too hot and everything oozed out and they both burned their mouths. But all-in-all, for a celebration, it was a pretty great pie nonetheless.