Meteorology Auditions

The Groundhog was contemplating a career change. She had been a meteorologist for quite a long time and after this year’s hectic busy season she figured it was finally time to go after her dream job. Ever since she was just a wee little kit the Groundhog dreamed of having her very own home goods line in a premiere brick and mortar big box store.

(Yes, brick and mortar big box stores seem to be a dying breed with no imminent revival on the horizon. All the more reason to hurry up and achieve your dreams while there’s still time, I say)

But the first step to the Groundhog's new career selling home goods was finding someone to replace her old post as Local Meteorologist for the Forest. Local Meteorologist was a very important position in the Forest and the Groundhog didn’t want to leave the post vacant for any great length of time. So she decided the quickest way to get some potential candidates was to make a sign for meteorologist auditions and see if that would spark any interest in some of the other folks in the forest.

After a few weeks of her flyers being up Genevieve, the Groundhog, set out to meet the potential meteorologist auditioners at the time and place listed on the flyer. Only two animals showed up a Skunk, named Jesse, whom the Groundhog was friendly with, and an Owl named Leonard, whom the Groundhog was on the tail end of a long grudge with.

“Okay the first thing we’re going to do is learn to poke our heads out of a hole!" The Groundhog said, trying to amp up the enthusiasm of her audience, "Whose ready to learn meteorology!?”

The Skunk and the Owl stared back at Genevieve without responding. The two then looked at each other. Both had assumed the other would make a compulsory ‘woo’ sound in response to Genevieve’s sentence but since neither of them ‘woo’’ed” the room just felt flat and unenthusiastic.

“Sorry, I mean, Woo! I’m excited to learn.” Jesse the Skunk quickly spoke.

“Yeah one woo for me too, um, can’t wait to get started”’ Leonard the Owl followed.

But Genevieve didn't really feel the enthusiasm from these two and was kind of annoyed by that.

“Look the most important thing in a meteorologist is…” she trailed off waiting for her potential replacements to answer. Genevieve expected that any good, enthusiastic, Local Meteorologist audition would have the right answer right at the tip of their tongue:

“Is…” she promoted again.

“Knowledge of weather?” Jesse ventured.

“Yeah I’d say the same thing." Leonard concurred, "I’d probably call it like knowing what the weather is going to be though... or something like that.”

Genevieve couldn’t believe this. How could she pass along the torch to either of these two when they didn't even know the first thing about being a meteorologist?

“No you noobs, the number one thing a meteorologist needs is PASSION,” Genevieve exclaimed.

“Passion for what?” Leonard asked.

“For the weather! For knowing patterns and having hunches about whether there will be 6 more weeks of winter or if an early spring is on the way!" Genevieve continued, "Is this just a paycheck for you two?”

The two looked at each other uncomfortably. It clearly was just a job they had both applied for that seemed easy. But if it requires passion it may not be worth it.

"Nevermind, you two can't do the job half as good as me so I guess I'll just keep doing it," Genevieve concluded.

"Oh, man!"

"Are you sure?"

"Positive," Genevieve replied, "Home goods will have to wait."

Genevieve left in a huff. Leaving Leonard and Jesse by themselves.

"Well, I guess back to the drawing board on that new pressure cooker design we had." Leonard started.

"No one wants pressure cookers anymore, it's all about an insta-pot." Jesse retorted.

Genevieve stormed back.

"What do you mean no one wants pressure cookers anymore? Pressure cookers have been a staple for years! Insta-Pots are merely a fad, like George Forman grills. People will want pressure cookers forever!" She yelled before calming down, "Wait, do you guys have a home goods line?"

"Yeah, but we need new ideas we're not getting anywhere and we have one last shot to keep our home goods line with Macy's" Leonard replied.

"You're kidding." Genevieve was shocked at the serendipity. "Can I help?"

The two now sensing they had the upper hand in the dynamic decided to take advantage.

"Well, that depends..." Jesse started, "What's the most important part of being a home goods designer?"

"Understanding of consumer spending habits as it relates to broader food trends."

The two looked at each other shocked.

"Damn. Um, yeah... You're hired." Leonard replied.

"Part-time though, because I have two jobs." Genevieve countered.

"Um sure..." Jesse and Leonard agreed.

"You don't sound excited though," Genevieve noted.

"Woo!" The two finally exclaimed.