Too Many Ways To Say The Same Thing
The Squirrel was looking forward to having his favorite meal for dinner tonight. Not the meal he thought was the best meal in the world. Just his favorite meal. The one that made him feel happy while he was eating it.
It was a simple meal. You could get it at most restaurants or diners and it wasn’t even that hard to make at home either. Some people call it a comfort meal instead of a favorite meal. I guess some folks like having two different words that mean the same thing, seems like a waste of resources if you ask me but hey, who am I?
The Squirrel’s favorite meal was a simple mix of black walnuts, acorns, and holly berries. 50% black walnuts, 30% acorns, 20% berries, was the ratio the Squirrel preferred. He had several of his favorite meal (or his comfort meal) buried around the area where he lived. All he had to do was go out and find them.
Excited and determined the Squirrel set out to find her favorite meal, her comfort meal, the meal that made her feel happiest while eating it, you could even call it her happy meal which… Oh... Oh jeez, happy meal is a third way of saying the same thing, isn't it? Oh heavens, if two ways of saying the same thing weren’t enough, now we’ve just gone and invented a third way to say the same thing. Goodness gracious, what have we done.
While having two ways of saying the same thing is certainly silly it's not out and out harmful. But three different ways of saying the same thing? I mean come on now, that’s just downright ridiculous, absolutely utterly ridiculous. Wasteful even.
Well, let's continue but be extra careful not to let that happen again. Truly, if three ways of saying the same thing is ridiculous could you imagine the kluckertruck having four different ways of describing the specific meal that somehow, ironically, takes you back not to a specific moment but a vague one, a vague memory, one that is not real yet still tangible, ethereal yet physical, present. This vague memory that feels almost like a single picture taken from an infinite number of pictures of the same meal, in different environments, for an eternity. With no end and no beginning. This memory meal, so to say, had been swimming through the Squirrel's head all day, he dreamt of it and...
Oh no. Oh dear no, what have we done?
We somehow did it again, didn’t we?
“Memory meal” is a fourth different way to say favorite meal, or comfort meal, or happy meal, isn’t it? My goodness, we just can't seem to help ourselves today. What an unlucky occurrence we've found FOUR different ways of saying the same thing when one way of saying the same thing is certainly enough to get our point across.
And in this whole time, we've neglected the Squirrel who has also been struggling because as is in a squirrel’s general nature he couldn't remember where he kept his favorite meal and has been digging and digging and searching and searching this whole time. Then when he decided to give up on his favorite meal he did the same searching for his comfort meal and again, no dice. Searching for his happy meal? Same outcome. Finally he looked for his memory meal but clearly the memory of where he stored his meals for the winter is really the issue writ large.
"Um, hello?" The Squirrel says, "This isn't helping me at all. In fact you're kind of confusing me at this point for no reason."
Oh brother, we're terribly sorry Squirrel. We got caught up in naming things and we...
"Yeah, yeah, I know what happened. I was listening. Just, can you stop for a while? I've found my second favorite meal or happy meal or whatever you're calling it today and I'll just look again for my favorite one tomorrow."
Got it, very sorry Squirrel. Won't happen again. And best of luck in your search tomorrow.
"Thanks, have a nice day" The Squirrel said as he walked away.
"What an egghead" The squirrel added as he walked away, under his breath. "Or nerd, or whatever other synonyms they could come up with for that..."
With hurt feelings we can say, touchè squirrel, Touchè.