Hydrate

The Bear and the Cat were sitting together, hanging out, and discussing their respective views on daily hydration. An important subject for sure, yet one that rarely gets discussed among friends.

“I like to get at least 64 oz. in a day,” started Roger, the Bear, “Without that, I can feel myself drying out like a kitchen sponge.”

“Oh I totally agree,” concurred Clarence, the Cat, “Heck, I’d even argue 64 oz. is really the minimum needed to function, I think on a regular basis I try to get double that.”

The two were taking sips of water from their respective water bottles between each of their statements. It was very efficient. The two were either talking or hydrating at all moments.

“What is the worst thing that could happen while you’re hydrating?” Roger asked Clarence, before lifting his water bottle and glugging some more water.

“Well,” Clarence wondered, “I suppose the worst thing that could happen is if someone told a funny joke and then you did a spit-take, think about all that potential hydration you lost just because of a joke.”

Clarence stopped speaking and took a big swig of water himself.

“Ooo, that’s a good one,” Roger agreed wiping water from the sides of his mouth, “Let’s be sure not to tell any jokes today.”

“Good idea,” Clarence agreed.

The two friends both took simultaneous chugs from their water bottles and sat quietly in each other’s company. Neither really had much to say at this point since no one wanted to cause the other to do a spit take, and since they were friends — making jokes and doing gags was kind of their biggest currency.

The two continued chugging water together though, and looked out towards the horizon. They saw two birds soaring together high in the sky. The birds were moving perfectly in tandem, like a beautifully choreographed dance, riding the wind together, gorgeous and free. One bird dipped directly below the other as the two birds continued flying together, synced at different altitudes, in perfect unison towards their destination, separately, as one. Roger and Clarence couldn’t help but view the scene as a beautiful metaphor of companionship and beauty, friendship, and perseverance, soaring and guiding us through a difficult world that can be difficult to navigate. Then the bird that was a little higher in altitude pooped and the poop landed on the bird right below him and the bird below him, his friend, got mad and started yelling at the other bird and then the two birds started pecking at each other in mid-air and it was loud and chaotic and an absolute disaster.

Roger and Clarence couldn’t believe they just saw one bird poop in another bird after a split second of letting the full weight of what they witnessed wash through them and they both knew they couldn’t laugh because they had both just taken massive gulps of water and they desperately tried to hold back the laughter but then they accidentally looked at each other and the realization that they had both just witnessed one bird poop on another bird neither Roger nor Clarence could hold back their laughter any longer and the two unleashed a powerful spray of unrealized hydration in a misty cloud followed by booming, wheezing , hysterical laughter. The two couldn’t stop themselves from laughing, laughing hard, nearly doubling over, just like friends do. The two laughed so hard they had to wipe away tears from their eyes, more loss in hydration, which was the exact opposite of what they each said they wanted.

At the end of the day, hydration is important, but being fully hydrated means nothing, without the homies we share it with.