Oldest Newest Brewery

Two Deer were meeting for a few beers at the oldest newest brewery in their city.

That’s a confusing sentence. What exactly does that mean? The “oldest newest brewery,” in the city?

Well, it just means that there were a lot of new breweries opening up in the city. So many that it was tough to try each new one as it opened. Hence, this one was the oldest newest brewery that they hadn’t had a chance to try yet.

That’s pretty straightforward, isn’t it?

Well the two Deers, Rohan and Furman, were excited when they walked into the oldest newest brewery. For one thing, it looked like a brewery. In fact, it looked so much like a brewery that it was nearly indistinguishable from many of the regular old breweries that came before it.

That was a little odd, Rohan and Furman both agreed. Why would the oldest newest brewery just look so much like the oldest breweries? The city already had a brewery that looked like this with the same gray metal stools, and the same wood bar, and the same-looking taps, etc.

“Well, maybe the difference is in the beer?” Rohan proposed.

Furman looked over a beer menu —

“I don’t know, seems like they are brewing much of the same types of beers as the oldest breweries in town.”

“Well, maybe the beers taste better?” Rohan wondered.

The two ordered their beers and sat down at a table that looked pretty similar to several of the tables in the older breweries in town. They looked at their beers, cheered, and each took a sip.

“Well…” started Rohan.

“Yeah…” Furman added.

Unfortunately, the beers weren’t anything special at all. This was baffling to the boys. What was the point of opening a new brewery at all if something about it wasn’t going to be new or interesting or different?

The two decided to pay their tab and leave. They approached the bar and asked to close out.

“Oh don’t worry about that,” the bartender said cheerfully, “When you entered we scanned your face and connected that to your bank account, we’ve already deducted your totals plus a 20% tip and our customary 5% new brewery start-up fee.”

The two looked at each other, this was different. But what was a new brewery start-up fee?

“Well,” the Bartender answered, “It’s a way of getting additional revenue since there are so many other breweries in the area opening up all the time. This way anytime someone comes in to check us out we get as much money as we can out of them. It helps us keep operating in this crowded and difficult environment.”

The boys looked at each other, shook their heads, and left. Of course, they both thought. The new thing about this brewery is that it takes a little more money from you than the others for the same experience.

Good business model.