Too Many Drips
The Bear's faucet was dripping and dripping and dripping and dripping and dripping and dripping and dripping and dripping and dripping and dripping and dripping and dripping and dripping and dripping and dripping and even when it seemed like it was about to stop dripping, well daggum, it dripped some more.
The Bear tried everything to make the faucet stop dripping. He turned the handle as far towards the off position as it could go. He tried… Um… Well, that was it really. Turning the handle all the way to the off position was really the only thing that came to the Bear's mind to stop a leaky faucet and yet, the faucet continues to drip.
The Bear pondered and pondered, he had to figure out how to make this infernal faucet stop dripping. The noise itself was driving the Bear crazy. Not to mention the environmental effects of wasting a steady stream of dripping water over a long period of time might have on the world’s water supply. All this horror was just too much for the Bear to bare.
The Bear took to the internet to see what was the best course of action for this faucet. He found several tips:
"Shut off the water to the faucet"
"If you can, shut off the water to the faucet"
"Find the valve which controls the water source to the dripping faucet and then shut it off."
For once, the Bear appreciated the consistency in advice available on the internet however, he had no clue how to go about shutting off the water to the dripping faucet which made the advice less than helpful.
"Well, now I have to Google 'How to shut off the water to the faucet' when really my problem is a dripping faucet." The Bear thought. "What a chore this has become."
So the bear googled how to shut off the water to a dripping faucet and luckily the advice was similarly consistent:
"Turn the valve which controls the water to shut it off"
"Simply turn the valve which controls the water to shut it off"
"Very simply, turn the valve which controls the water to shut it off"
The Bear searched for the water valve which turned off the water to his faucet. It took him a little while but eventually, he was able to locate the valve which controls the water, turned it, and shut off the water.
"Ultimately, very simple indeed," the Bear acknowledged.
The problem now was that the water was shut off and the Bear could not use the faucet at all. Drips or not, he was stuck with a faucet that now no longer dispensed any water when he turned it on.
"Well this wasn't the point of what I was trying to do." The Bear grumbled, "How have I gone from having too much water coming out of the faucet to none water coming out of the faucet and that's apparently the solution to my problem?"
The Bear was ready to go off on one of his rants against the modern world. He went on these from time to time, usually when the internet did not provide him with the answer he was looking for. Or a satisfactory answer to whatever inquiry he was making.
"This is the problem with the modern world!" The Bear began, "How often we first end up needing answers to different questions before we can fully understand the answers to our original questions! It's ridiculous!"
The Bear continued for a long time, it was a particularly long rant. For your sake and mine, I'll spare the details. Suffice it to say when the rant was over. The bear made one last google search:
'Plumbers in my area'