Smart As A Duck

The Donkey was excited about his admission letter. It came in the mail just this morning and the letter announced he had received admission to his top choice Master's program. It was a celebratory day for the Donkey and they intended to enjoy it to the fullest.

The Donkey stopped by his favorite watering hole to meet with some friends and have a couple of celebratory cocktails and snacks.

When the Donkey arrived he noticed the Duck sitting at the bar. The Donkey steeled himself. The Duck was notorious for being a bit lame. No, actually the Duck wasn't lame, lame isn't the right word... What's the word I'm thinking of... Oh right...

Rude. The Duck was rude... And also a bit of an ass, which was a term that was okay for the Donkey to use since he was part of that community.

"Oh hey, Donkey! Long time no see, how's it hanging?" The Duck shouted from the Bar.

"Oh I'm doing well," The Donkey answered as they made their way to the bar. "Got some really good news today actually."

"Oh, what's that?"

"I got into my top choice Master’s program!" The Donkey answers, beaming with pride.

"Hey, congratulations!" The Duck responded, "Guess that old saying ain't true, huh?"

"What saying?"

"Oh you know, that old saying..."

Of course, the Donkey knew exactly what saying the Duck was talking about. It was the unfortunate phrase that the Donkey hoped to change the perception with his Master's Degree. It was a phrase that he had heard the Donkey and heard their entire life and did not want to repeat it right now. But the Duck obviously had no problem blurting it out:

"That old phrase that so-and-so is 'dumb as a donkey'" The Duck blurted out, "You're putting an end to that!"

"Yeah I guess so." the Donkey said, annoyed.

"Hey barkeep," The Duck shouted, "How about a round of drinks for me and my friend here, and before you even start I want you to know my friend here is not as dumb as he looks!"

The Donkey was not enjoying this interaction with the Duck at all. They didn't know how they were going to get out of it and enjoy their celebration. The Donkey figured they probably had to leave this spot or find a way to get the Duck to leave.

The barkeep rolled his eyes and looked to the Donkey as if he were being held hostage. The Donkey appreciated the barkeeps empathy.

"What can I get you?" The Barkeep asked.

"How about two bourbons on the rocks," the Duck ordered "No ice."

The Barkeep and the Donkey looked at each other confused.

"Do you want them on the rocks or with no ice?" The Barkeep asked for clarification.

"I want what I asked for," the Duck responded defensively. "Bourbon. On the rocks. No ice... and make it snappy"

The Barkeep and the Donkey once again looked at each other and smirked.

"You heard the man," The Donkey added "On the rocks with no ice, like it's meant to be... We call that drink 'Smart As A Duck' style"

"I love that!" The Duck exclaimed, "We'll have two bourbons, smart as a duck!"

The Bartender and they Donkey once again exchanged knowing smirks. The Bartender went to make the drinks but still hadn't actually received a firm answer on whether the Duck wanted ice or not. Oh well, the Bartender thought, "When you're smart as a Duck you probably wouldn't know the difference anyway."