A Horse With A Horn

Martin, a very pretty horse, always dreamt of becoming something greater. Martin wasn’t even sure what exactly they meant by that, ‘becoming something greater,’ but they knew they felt it’s meaning somewhere deep within their chest. Maybe becoming something greater meant becoming, say, a unicorn or maybe it meant…

Oh, why bother… Martin wanted to become a unicorn and was afraid to admit it because they were worried they would never be able to achieve that. Becoming a unicorn was something mythically reserved only for the greatest of the greats and Martin wasn’t so sure that included them.

Still, Martin had every intention to somehow become great, they just weren't sure where to start. Martin turned to their trusted friend, a wise beaver named Snuff, to see if he had any advice on being great:

“Hmm,” Snuff mused, “I would say to be great you have to try very very hard at something for a very very long time and then eventually you learn to stop trying just enough...”

Martin waited with bated breath for Snuff's next words,

“Yeah, yeah, and then what?”

“Well, that’s when you become great…” Snuff replied matter-of-factly as if that was what he had literally just said, “I mean I literally just said that...”

Martin realized Snuff was of no use. What did beavers know about greatness or becoming a unicorn anyway? Perhaps Snuff wasn’t so wise of a beaver after all. Or perhaps Snuff just wasn’t so wise today. Either option was on the table and honestly, equally viable.

"Well, what are you just standing around waiting for?" Snuff asked Martin jarringly, "Go get started!"

“On what?” Martin responded.

”On being great you nudnick! Whaddya think you got time to waste? You’re already late to the game!” Snuff fired back.

"Well Snuff, I have to admit I don't even know how to start," Martin responded.

“Just start practicing!”

Martin was getting pretty annoyed at the beaver’s badgering and was about fed up with all the bad advice when they finally blurted out;

“How do you practice being a unicorn!”

Snuff paused for a moment:

“Okay we’re making progress, now we know you want to be a unicorn,” Snuff replied, “Now we can start practicing.”

"Practice? What do you mean?”

"What do I mean… Jesus, it’s like I’m being pranked to say everything twice to you. I mean practice! Make yourself a little horn out of this..." Snuff searched around, picked up a pinecone, handed it to Martin, "And start practicing being a unicorn."

Martin wasn't sure what was happening. They knew you couldn't just be a unicorn if you put a pine cone on your head. That didn't make any sense. That's not what a unicorn was.

"But I wouldn't actually be a unicorn Snuff," Martin ventured, "I'd just be a horse with a horn."

"We all start somewhere Martin, we all start somewhere."

Since Martin had no other option at the moment they decided maybe they should listen to what Snuff was saying. Maybe it wouldn't be so bad to just practice for a while, as a horse with a horn, before actually becoming the real thing.

So Martin took the pinecone and stuck it on his head.

"My god!" Snuff exclaimed, "What a regal unicorn! Hey everyone, come check out a real live unicorn here!" Snuff begin yelling to anyone who would listen, "It's a beautiful, magical real life unicorn here!"

Martin was concerned, what if people came and saw that they were actually just a horse with a horn and not an actual unicorn. That might hurt.

Just then, a squirrel heard the call and came to see the unicorn.

"Are you sure that's a unicorn? Or is that just a horse with a horn?" The squirrel asked Snuff

"No that's a unicorn." Snuff replied.

"Are you sure?"

"Look kid, who would know more?"

The kid was still skeptical but didn't question Snuff who talked emphatically and with a degree of authority.

"Can I have a picture?" The squirrel asked Martin.

"Sure thing kid, you got 20 bucks?" Snuff responded.

"It's free for you, actually" Martin replied, they weren't going to turn away the first chance they had to be a unicorn"

The squirrel came next to Martin and handed Snuff their camera.

"Say I love Unicorns!" Snuff said as he was snapping the picture.

"I love unicorns!" Martin and the squirrel said in unison.

"Great picture you two," Snuff remarked as he handed the squirrel back their camera.

"Wow," the squirrel said, "I can't wait to tell my friends I met a real-life unicorn today! Thanks, unicorn!"

The squirrel gave Martin a hug and scampered away. Martin blushed. There they were, Martin, an honest to goodness real-life, practicing, unicorn.

Maybe that Snuff was on to something after all.