Two Old Koalas Forgot To Make A Reservation
It was 10:30 AM and two old koalas were thinking about lunch. The two had not planned on getting lunch that day but they ran into each other while they were out on their errands and decided it had been too long since they sat down together and had a rigorous, intellectual discussion about the issues of the day.
After some light deliberation about the restaurant, (The first Koala, Murray, suggested soup, but the second koala, Bernie, had already eaten soup for dinner yesterday. Bernie suggested garbage burritos, but Murray was planning on getting that for dinner tonight) they settled on a nearby pizza joint that both friends had heard good things about.
Murray and Bernie walked in and asked the host for a table.
“Of course, do you have a reservation?”
The two koalas did not.
“Well, now we’re screwed” Bernie surmised immediately.
“A reservation? For pizza? At lunch???” Murray was confused. “Who ever even heard of such a thing? What kind of world is this?”
The host waited patiently, hoping against hope that a simple “yes, we have a reservation or no, we don’t have a reservation” may still find its way out of one of the koalas' mouths.
Instead, there descended a strong and long silence between the host and the two old koalas. Each party assuming they were owed further explanation of the situation by the other.
After too much time had passed the host ventured a guess, “So, no reservation then? Not a problem! If you’d like, I think a few seats at the bar should be opening up shortly.”
“The bar? The bar!” Cried Bernie. “I wouldn’t get caught playing dead at the bar!”
“What is happening with the world today? These young people need you to have a reservation for everything! In my day we didn’t have reservations! Back then all the restaurants were so bad no one wanted to eat at them and you could always find a table anywhere! Those were the good old days!” Murray lamented.
“Is this level of drama really necessary?” Asked the host.
“I suppose not.” Bernie agreed. “Maybe we can come to a compromise.”
The host was not at all hopeful that the compromise the old koalas proposed would be something simple like wait till a table became available, agree to sit at the bar, or make a reservation for another time. The host braced herself for what was to come next by reminding herself that this job along with two others was what was needed to pay the bills.
“May I ask a question?” asked Murray. Then, without allowing the host to answer, he continued on, “What if we place our order now, and then when the table opens up we can sit and enjoy our food then?”
The host had not expected this semi-reasonable response. She considered for a moment whether this could be done. The restaurant was certainly not set up for that type of service but maybe they could make it work.
“Let me check with my boss and let you know.”
“Okay talk to the boss, big boss man!” Bernie added, “Big boss man with big bar seats and big reservations...”
“How is that helpful?” Murray inquired.
“Sometimes I like to say something unhelpful,” Bernie explained. “Is that a crime now?”
“No, you can say whatever you want that’s freedom of speech.”
“I don’t get my freedom from you!”
“I never said you did!”
“Then why did you start the argument?”
“I didn’t!”
“You’re getting on my nerves!”
This argument was escalating quickly.
“Well, you’re getting on my nerves too! Tell ya what let’s skip lunch so you can go soak your head and read a book!”
“You soak your head and read a book!”
The host returned with a big smile on her face ready to deliver some good news! As she approached the two old koalas...
“I’m not going to sit here and be insulted!” Bernie exclaimed.
“Me either! Lunch is off!” Murray replied.
“Fine by me!” Bernie yelled as he got up and made his way to the door.
The host sighed. What a life this was.
“One last thing, you going to the VFW fish fry tomorrow?” Bernie asked Murray.
“Yeah. What’s it to you?”
“Good, I’ll see you there.”
“Sounds good. See you then.”
Bernie and Murray walked out of the restaurant and went their separate ways.
The host shook her head, she went back to her podium. A couple who had just finished their meal had gotten up from their walk-in table and were leaving. The host wished them a nice day and the couple wished her the same.